Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
