if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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