Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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