about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize