Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
