Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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