Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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