My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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