I hope mine doesn't look like that
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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