is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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