That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
