my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
