i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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