Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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