White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
