good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
