whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
