friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
