Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
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I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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