if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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