Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
ok first of all what the fuck
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
