I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
