Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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