She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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