I wish I only lived at night.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
