you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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