I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
