just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
