you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
