from now on my penis is your penis
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
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I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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