I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
