FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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