you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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