my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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