Nicole vs. Life
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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