I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
home. puking in laundry basket.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
