As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
