you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize