I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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