Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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