made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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