i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
