there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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