She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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