So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
