I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
