Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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