Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
