Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize