I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
