Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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