If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
its liver damage thursday
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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