I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
