remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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