I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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