Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
