Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
