i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
