White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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