Got a toothbrush?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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