I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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