It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
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