Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
