with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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