I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We were destined to go to rehab together
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
