i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
