Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
