If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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