"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize